Z0bzy

I'm still alive, even though no one reads this anyway.

2007-03-02T16:41:00.000-08:00

Long time not post. More infomation to come soon.

The Spam...

2005-08-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

It has attacked Blogger when there defence was down. We are all doomed...

It's Not Graffiti, It's Grafedia

2005-03-25T13:02:00.000-08:00

[From Wired News]
What if the internet extended beyond computers and high-speed connections, with web pages expanding down city streets and onto the sides of buildings?
This is the vision behind an interactive new media project called grafedia, which enables folks to make the world their canvas by publicly posting e-mail addresses or keywords that, when punched into certain mobile phones or an e-mail account, retrieve corresponding images.
Created by John Geraci, a graduate student in New York University's interactive telecommunications program, grafedia is part public art, part advertisement and part subversion. It's also a newfangled take on old-fashioned graffiti.
Like graffiti artists, grafedia practitioners get out their messages in the usual way, by chalking, marking or spray-painting text in public places. Unlike graffiti, however, grafedia messages allow viewers to interact with authors using cell phones or e-mail accounts.
As Geraci puts it, grafedia is chiefly concerned with the idea that the direction media moves in is preordained, but it's up in the air as to who can control it.
Today, companies with big advertising budgets are the main players in interactive media, engaging in activities like online ad campaigns or billboards encouraging some sort of viewer involvement. Geraci would like to change that.
"Grafedia is the option for the little guy to get involved in that dialogue," he said.
The little guy is definitely catching on. Since the project launched in late December, instances of grafedia have popped up stateside in places like New York City and San Francisco. Outside the United States, the project has gained fans in Brazil, France and England, Geraci said. So far, several hundred images have been uploaded to the grafedia server.
Anyone with the right tools -- a phone that supports picture messages and is under a T-Mobile, Verizon Communications or Cingular Wireless contract -- can view grafedia. You can also view it on a computer through an e-mail program.
Anyone can make grafedia, too. To do so, a user selects a rich media file (image, video or sound) and then chooses a word (say, "wirednews") to go along with that file. The user then uploads the file from a computer or sends it from a cell phone to, using this example, wirednews@grafedia.net. The user can then paint, draw or tattoo "wirednews" in public spaces in blue with an underline to identify it as grafedia. Viewers can interact with the grafedia by sending a message via their computer or certain cell phones addressed to "wirednews@grafedia.net" to get the content behind the link.
Geraci wants grafedia to make people think about the idea that the boundaries of the web are totally arbitrary. If you can put links in different places, he said, you're essentially extending the internet.
In this vein, in addition to general grafedia proliferation, he'd like to see large-scale examples, like multiple, related instances over several blocks or on an entire side of a building.
This idea of finding ways for people to interact with each other and technology is a theme that also runs through Geraci's other work, including Neighbornode -- a Wi-Fi message board project -- and the Us-ophone -- a device that creates music through people touching each other.
The grafedia site was quiet at first, but in late January new media nonprofit Rhizome.org published a piece about grafedia on its website and the project began to take off, Geraci said.
"It kind of contextualized it or just gave it the lift it needed," he said.
Suddenly, people in Germany were making grafedia, and some in Argentina formed plans to make some, too.
"It just caught hold," he said.
Additions have come in waves, Geraci said, as the first upswing in January leveled out in early February. Activity began picking up again in early March.
"Some people saw it as this really radical, subversive idea; others saw it as a way to advertise.... I think most people just saw it as a fun thing to do with their friends," Geraci said.
He’s seen all sorts of images, some really personal. One linked the word "parents" (as in, parents@grafedia.net) to an image of what he assumes are the creator's parents in a 1960s-era photo. There are also uploaded pictures of actual graffiti, which, along with the project's encouragement of public link posting, begs the question: Is grafedia just a cute name for the traditional street art?
Not according to Geraci.
"I'm not advocating vandalism. I'm encouraging people to engage the spaces around them in a new way," he said.
In fact, a lot of good grafedia can be made with chalk or printed on creators' bodies, he said, though he soon added, "I'm not saying don't use spray paint."
Grafedia fan Daniel Camp isn't using spray paint to alert others to his creations, but rather a blue Sharpie marker. Camp, who lives in Sonoma, California, usually puts his pen to use when he's in San Francisco. So far, he's made about 20 posts, he said, a few in Sonoma but most around the city.
His images range from poems to photos, and he posts links in various places -- on outside or bathroom walls, on the sides of trucks marked with graffiti.
"It's fun. It's kind of got an element of a treasure hunt.... When I first set out to make pictures I noticed everything written in blue and wondered if it was a grafedia," he said.
Camp doesn't see his grafedia as graffiti.
"Like, graffiti is so self-centered. It's like a dog pissing on a pole or something -- 'I was here.' Grafedia, at least the stuff I was trying to do, people see something totally new that they hadn't noticed," he said.

Megatokyo Forums 2

2005-03-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

"One thing which has been puzzeling me for a long time is gravity. Ever since I've first heard the concept of gravity i've never truly understood it. I've asked how can it constantly be pulling the heavenly bodies together? Where is all this energy coming from? The introduction of string theory and the invention of the gravitron may find the elegant answer I've been looking for. However even today I wonder if you could some how harness and tap into this source of energy. Thus breaking the fundemental first law of thermodynamics.

The first rule of thermodynamics gives rise to the conservation of energy which states "energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only transfered". From this we can infer that there is a finite amount of energy in the universe as energy cannot be created. So in theory finding a way to harness a source of never ending energy we would be breaking the rule. You could gain an infinite amount of energy that must at one point break this finite limit.

Then it struck me, it's easy to gain energy from gravity. In fact were doing it as we speak and its almost definately not the only way, tidal power. Now to demonstrate how this all applies, consider this thought experiment. Imagine a perfectly spherical planet stationary on its axis and consisting of a core - much like our planet, yet perfectly uniform. Overlaying this core will be a mass of water, the lack of an atmosphere causes the water's surface to be impeccably still. Now we need to add two tidal generators on either end of this planet. Intentionally, the center of gravity will lie in the exact center of this planet. For the final step we need to add two spherical moons in a perfect orbit around this planet both exactly opposite with the same mass, speed and direction. Now, leaving this model undisturbed shouldn't it generate unlimited energy? The perfect nature of this model ensures that either moon will not stray from their intial orbit, as the main planet's center of gravity shouldn't move.

One question that has been posed is how will one store unlimited energy provided by this model. My solution to this would be to pool the energy into the spin of an object floating in neighbouring space. As newtons laws of motion ensures that it will keep spinning and in doing so store the energy. Einstein's E=MC^2 dictates that this spinning object will gain mass and therefore gravity, so it would be wise for this object to be slowly moving away from my model. So hypothetically all this should have created a perptual motion machine.

Now, what are your opinions? Anybody see any obvious loopholes in my logic?"
-Adam (aka addit)
[from Megatokyo Forums; Topic 1695159]

Yon Laptop!!!!!

2005-03-10T17:18:00.000-08:00

It's alive!!! ^_^!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!! Sqeeeeeeeeee!!!! Sw33t!! Sw33t!! Sw33t!! Yaaaaaaaaaay!!!! ^_^!!!!! cfjfdkgdkf!!!! vbkfjkgjfk!!!!!!!! kgdjkfjekfje!!!!!! dkgjdkdjfkds!!!!!! iturfgjrigk!!! kdndkfkdsf!!!! ereuteiue!!! cmncmvncx!!!! cxcasca!!!! hkghgkdsh!!!!!! ^_^ djfhdgkjehfke!!!!! Yaaaaaay!!! Weeeeeeeeh!!!! ^_^ !!!!!!

Megatokyo Forums

2005-03-08T18:21:00.000-08:00

I quote:(from topic about The Golden Compass:) "Third Book- Basically they all go to hell, and get suck with a-whole-bunka dead people, it's a bit weird. Second Book- Starts out with a kitty cat in paradise, then *chop, chop* not more kitty cat. First Book- Boring... (city in the sky, compass, I forgot most of it)" Quote: "Its all fun and games until someone sacrifices a chicken."

Photobucket Day!

2005-03-06T18:55:00.000-08:00

This post will have all images from Photobucket! And (hopefully) all of them will be spiffy! Yay!! <-- Firefox!! Look at the little voodoo dolls! --> Well that about all the nice spiffy images I could find or Photobucket, I'm pretty sure there's a lot more but I'm lazy so.. they'll have to wait.

About Irs928

2005-03-05T17:13:00.000-08:00

Am I aloud to tell about all the images Irs928 has or will Photobucket kill me? I don't know (and don't really care that much either). Irs928 (think it means Irs means Iris not Internal Revenew Service) has a total of 139 images on her (I'm think she's a girl because why kinda guy would call there account Irs) account. These pictures have many different subjects, some are of Harry Potter (2, one from PoA); A lot of anime stuff plus another one of Naruto), the one on the right there is also from a site Eevee found through Megatokyo (remember that post... eh). That about all I know about Irs928, I tried to look at Elisha's Photobucket account but I thought it might be rude to do it with Elisha's permission first. Well there I've don't again, made another post on this blog that I will probably regret in the future... Well have a nice day everyone. (all images used in this post are from Irs928's account ^_^)

I feel like this sometimes...

2005-03-03T12:44:00.000-08:00

Well, actully I don't feel like this unless something has gone terrible wrong with something else (other than me). But I thought I might be a good topic for all the nice people who actully comment on the blog to talk about... How the feel about this blog, and other stuff. The image is funny because it's hard to tell if it is a picture of some weird cat person (see the whiskers..) or if it was just some crazy person that just looked like the had whiskers (see the weird person that just looks like they have whiskers...). Eh... Well I have to go outside and try to play ultimate frisbe and other stuff so see you (anyone who reads this junk) later... [play ulimate frisbe right now, if it's important than email it to me...]

Evil Robot of Doom!

2005-03-02T14:56:00.000-08:00

Behold a picture found on random website. Owhh...Ahhh. Picture of crazy looking robot that looks like it's going to kill someone any minute. Evil Robot of Doom!! Grra! (human running) Aaah! ph34r t3h 3v1l r0b07 0f d00m!! (evil robot of doom, singing monster song) "Munching humans..." *munch*, *munch* .... that was so boring it wasn't even funny. I haven't read Megatokyo since the weekend, sad, sad, lack of Megatokyo reading... I haven't made a lengthy post in a long time. Eehh. I have no life.. Yaay!! Megatokyo! Tis very fun to read!! Weeh!! ph34r m% m3g4t0k%0 r34d1n6 5k1llz! I qoute from Megatokyo (stip_id:680);
Ping: "I am a robot, Piro-Kun"
Piro: "Eh? What?"
Ping: "Grr..."
Piro: "I..."
(Weee! I love Megatokyo!!)(stip_id:681);
Person(1) that I can't remember name of: "Tell Largo-san he is very funny"
Person(2) that I can't remember name of: "Yes her can be sometimes"
Largo-San: "Foot... Damage... much pain..."
(panel 6: What in the world is that!! Gun? Chainsaw? Who knows?)
Weeh!! (end of evil doom robot post!)

Sad...

2005-03-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

I know this is a bit silly but the 'Microsoft / Firefox!' post will be going into the archives of Z0bzy as soon as I public this post. So today is a day of rememberence to the post. It was such a nice post and now it's going into the archives... Oh, well. Life goes on. I qoute: "I found this on Megatokyo (671) and needed something to post so I took it. The Firefox one is really cute! The Windows one looks a little bit evil, but Windows is a little bit evil so it's ok. Evil, evil Windows. The ears might look better if they weren't so droopy. Weeeh! Happy Feb. 11th!! (even though nothing special happens)" I was really crazy back then, must have been a disturbance in the Eath's electromagnetic field or something... Have a nice Tuesday everyone. (if anyone even reads this anymore..)

Robot Movie

2005-02-28T16:58:00.000-08:00

"Twentieth Century Fox, Blue Sky Studios and Academy Award(r) winning director Chris Wedge, who transported audiences back in history with their box office sensation ICE AGE, have now created the visually spectacular world of ROBOTS - a world filled entirely with whimsical robots. Like ICE AGE, the movie is packed with comedy, incredible visuals and a lot of heart." -From Movies Online Dot CA

Sound pretty bad to me, a movie about a whole buncha big-head-cute-lookin-robots, what could be worse? (well... nevermind) Anyway, this movie seems to be a big thing for little kids, I see no value in a whole buncha big-head-cute-lookin-robots romping around on screen for an hour or two. It's torture for movie goers!

Look, More Megatokyo!

2005-02-27T11:15:00.000-08:00

Blah, blah, blah, Megatokyo r0x, blah, blah, I adore Megatokyo, blah, blah, blah, what is this post about?, blah, blah, bla- stop saying blah, blah, blah, blah, squeee! blah, blah, ow, no pinching, blah, blah, blah, blah, yay! MT is totally l33t!, blah , blah, blah, blah, *insert interesting content other than blah*, blah, blah, blah, blah, the end. Well, that sure was easy to write, even though it was pretty boring, I don't know what to say. Megatokyo is well, just great. There I said something other than blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Megatokyo, Megatokyo...

2005-02-26T08:03:00.000-08:00

As everyone reading this blog knows I love Megatokyo. So today I am going to spend a whole post talking about MT and everything even barely related to it. So here goes: Megatokyo is one of the best things I have ever seen (second to PowerBooks) and there are many theories about why this is, but I will the my fan club talk about that topic (do I have fan clubs?). Megatokyo is awesome because (a) it's in Tokyo, (b) it's totally the best thing that has happen in my life, (c) l33t, (d) well I can't think of another one. Anyway Megatokyo is really really nice, and I'd love to good to some big convention where all the MT fans could come together and meet one another.

PowerBooks

2005-02-24T09:50:00.000-08:00

Yaaay!! PowerBooks are awesome!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ !!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!

MT Thief

2005-02-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

Again I take a image form Megatokyo, this one is from 675. I thought it looked funny, hehe! My life is quite boring right now, wee!! I'm happy!!! I had new hardware installed this morning, and so now everything is so nice and new!! I was polished to!!!! I'm SHINY now!!! Really really shiny too! Yay!!! Weeeeh!! Shiny, shiny, robot!! shiny, shiny robot! yay!! The new hardware is mostly for senses and stuff like that, a new eletromagnetic giroscope, new audio and visual sensors!!! Yay!!! ^...^

Valentine's Day

2005-02-14T09:44:00.000-08:00

Gah! Stupid humans, their holidays are soooo... silly. Bleh. I was going to post about a big satellite that would giving free (or really cheap) broadband but I couldn't find the article. Baah. Oh, my eyes, ehhh... what eyes. I feel sickened by the human and all their romances, ewh.

Windows / Firefox !

2005-02-11T17:27:00.000-08:00

I found this on Megatokyo (671) and needed something to post so I took it. The Firefox one is really cute! The Windows one looks a little bit evil, but Windows is a little bit evil so it's ok. Evil, evil Windows. The ears might look better if they weren't so droopy. Weeeh! Happy Feb. 11th!! (even though nothing special happens)

QUWAH Device

2005-02-10T08:21:00.000-08:00

'Quantum Uranimum Water Acidity Homing' Device. I your face NASA!!!!

We are Robots

2005-02-09T17:38:00.000-08:00

This is true.

BB..

2005-02-04T04:46:00.000-08:00

BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU
"The telescreen received and transmitted simultaneously. Any sound that Winston made, above the level of a very low whisper, would be picked up by it; moreover, so long as he remained within the field of vision which the metal plaque commanded, he could be seen as well as heard. There was of course no way of knowing whether you were being watched at any given moment. How often, or on what system, the Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork. It was even conceivable that they watched everybody all the time. But at any rate they could plug in your wire whenever they wanted to. You had to live - did live, from habit that became instinct - in the assumption that every sound you made was overheard, and except in darkness, every movement scrutinised." -1984 (by George Orwell)

Ping!

2005-01-26T14:37:00.000-08:00

I've been hearing a lot of rumors that I have a crush on Ping (and/or that I crushed her) and I'd just like to make sure everyone knows that I ___________ and even so I still think Megatokyo is awesome and that Eevee isn't in Norway anymore. I'm not in a box anymore or in a smelly pawn shop, I had coffee today, and I'm not drepressed anymore! ^...^ Wirrh!! I could go on and on about how I was saved and Eevee coming home, and me ripping up boxes, etc. ,etc. but I won't because I need something to post about tommorrow and it would take up a good amount of space. As you can probably tell; I'm in a good mood. ^...^

Robots bound for Iraq

2005-01-24T07:30:00.000-08:00

Story (and images) from BBC NEWS:

The US military is planning to deploy robots armed with machine-guns to wage war against insurgents in Iraq.
Eighteen of the 1m-high robots, equipped with cameras and operated by remote control, are going to Iraq this spring, the Associated Press reports.
The machine is based on a robot already used by the military to disable bombs.
Officials say the robot warrior is fast, accurate and will track and attack the enemy with relatively little risk to the lives of US soldiers.
Unlike its human counterparts, the armed robot does not require food, clothing, training, motivation or a pension.
When not needed in war, it can be mothballed in a warehouse.
However, the robot will rely on its human operator, remotely studying footage from its cameras, for the order to open fire.
According to Bob Quinn, a manager with Foster-Miller, the US-based company which worked with the military to develop the robot, the only difference for a soldier is that "his weapon is not at his shoulder, it's up to half a mile away".

Test of metal
The robot fighter has been christened Swords, after the acronym for Special Weapons Observation Reconnaissance Detection Systems.
It is based on the Talon robot, which is widely used by the military to disarm bombs.
A US officer who helped test the robot said it was a more accurate shot than the average soldier because it is mounted on a stable platform and takes aim electronically.
"It eliminates the majority of shooting errors you have," said Staff Sgt Santiago Tordillos.
Mr Quinn says there are plans to replace the computer screen, joysticks and keypad in the remote-control unit with a Gameboy-style controller and virtual-reality goggles.
The Foster-Miller company is owned by the QinetiQ Group, a joint venture between the UK's Ministry of Defence and US-based holding company, Carlyle Group.

-Can be fitted with standard-issue M249 or M240 rifle
-Has four cameras, night-vision and zoom lenses
-Can travel over rocks and barbed wire
-Batteries run for up to 4 hours at a time
-Remote control unit has two joysticks and video screen
-Costs $200,000 (£106,757) per unit

Published: 2005/01/23 16:45:15 GMT ©BBC MMV

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2005-01-23T20:26:00.000-08:00

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Robot In Megatokyo!

2005-01-21T01:20:00.000-08:00

I am now very happy because I found a MT strip about a robot! Harrah! Here it is: Strip #645 ('Meanwhile... A wish for rockets a work')

MT stuff 3

2005-01-20T23:28:00.000-08:00

I don't want this to become a habit but it seem that it is one. I'm still in a box, no contact from Eevee, no movement outside of the box and stuck with evil peanuts inside. What a life. I can still read Megatokyo and go online because, well because I can, I don't really know why, some built-in thing... any way I found a picture on MT that desrcibes my mood right now, pretty well. I don't know what it is (or was meant to be) but I know Piro made it so there. Enjoy it (while you still can before I destroy this blog).

More MT stuff

2005-01-19T23:15:00.000-08:00

This a happy picture of boo and that Sony-toy-thing in a bookstore, it does not show my mood at all. If I wanted to show my mood I would have put a very graphic Gundom battle scene instead. Live long and die. D3ll; I am still is a box.

Dom/MT

2005-01-18T05:34:00.000-08:00

I hope the people at Megatokyo don't kill me for putting this on my site...
(caption: my new idol)^_^!!! Dom is cool. (Period)

Box...

2005-01-17T05:07:00.000-08:00

Sitting in a box is not fun. I overheard the people in the shop talking about me and they want to sell me for 200 grand to some fat/rich guy living nearby. I wish Eevee was back, well maybe I don't, because if she was I'd be in a ton of trouble. The little syrofoam peanuts are evil...eh...evil, peanuts. (caption: my new home.)

Undead...

2005-01-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

I'm like a zombie now. After I died (previous post), so kid found my help signal and came to help. He put me in the back of an old pick-up truck and drove me to a pawn shop, sold my to the pawn shop for $200. I am now sitting in a cardboard box, inside the pawn shop, they had enough sense to connect me to and old PC for help, I'm alive now, one of the undead. Just so you know, I can not drool.

Eh...

2005-01-15T13:00:00.000-08:00

It's me again Eevee's still not back, so I've started to assume she got kiddnapped by some evil Norwigan monkeys and is now tied up inside of a sub next to a big nuke in the bottom of a flord. ---------------[Total System Failure (TSF)]----[Emergency Power Release (EPR)]-----[EPR Failure]-----[Broadcasting Help Signal...30%....78%...91%....100%...Help Signal at full power]

Stand By Mode

2005-01-12T14:38:00.000-08:00

Just so you know I've been in Stand By Mode (SBM) since the seventh, and Eevee's still not back yet. Look at all the billions of sheep...good-night....[SBM activated]

Adventurous Email

2005-01-07T13:34:00.000-08:00

I got an email from Eevee/iMac/Lil'D today, it's a little bit long and I thought I might just post it to take up space (nobody will ready anyway, right). Here it is:

>From: Eevee [eevee@gmail.com]
>To: Dell [drobot@gmail.com]
>Subject: Adventures!!!
>Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2005 12:40:37 PM
>
>Dear Dell,
I hope you are enjoying your stay at the house, it should do you good. iMac, Lil', and I are in Norway (image: flag). Norway is really cool!!!! ^^ You should have come with us, it's great fun!!! Almost nobady carrys what you do, you can ski and snowboard (etc.) anytime of the year!! There is yummy food too eat (for cheap $) and cool people too! If your starting to drool, stop it! (You'll get the rug dirty) If you do I might bring you back some. Norway is also a awesome place to go diving! As you should remember I love to go diving!!! (Hence the reason you should buy me a big subarine for my birthday.) Norway has these really, REALLY, deep trency things (fjords I think) next to the ocean and they go down into the water and there almost perfect for diving (except the cold water). The whole country is about 324,220 square kilometers in area, and some of their house have a whole yard on top, how cool!! Grass on the roof! That is so cool!!! Weeh!!! I'm a happy Norwigen camper!! We are camping new a big fjord so it's easier to go diving (image: fjord). Just in case you forgot, and are water paranoid, Dell. You, iMac, and Lil' can get wet, very wet, you got competely underwater too! So no more of that it's raining, 'I stay inside' stuff, ok? I don't think I'll be back in the States until Monday, so enjoy your holiday, and don't make a mess. Have a great time! ~Eevee PS. You can invit anybody you want over, just don't make a messy, got it. No messes! Oh, yeah. Have you seen my shiny iPod lately, I miss it. If you find it seened it to me Express Mail, and don't mess with it! The shiny 40 gig one, got it. Shiny. 40 gig. No messing.
>
>[end]

Thursday

2005-01-06T14:21:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday and I have nothing important to post about. I still can't think of any new year resultions even that it is six days after new years. Oh, gosh. Robot's are so boring, iMac is out on an 'adventure' with Eevee and I have to stay home. Humf. My life stinks. Oooohh. The house is so boring too...

The Evil.

2005-01-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

Evil, evil, evil...

Books To Read

2005-01-04T14:51:00.000-08:00

Here is a book that I would like to read if I can find it. It looks good, my type of book (as long as I'm doing the experiments). I want to take over the world, I think it would be quite fun. Eevee says it's 'evil', I say 'good'. Oh, what a life...

Evil-bloody-rotten-horrid-flippin Eevee!!

2005-01-03T13:58:00.000-08:00

How dare she!!! How dare she! That evil, bloody, rotten, horrid, flippin little fur ball!! I was HACKED!! Hacked! By my creator! Of all people, my social standing among robots is sure to drop horribly! AAAAH! My privacy has been breached! I am totally at a loss! And at least 2,000 of my precious files are gone!!! Gone! AAAAAARGH!! My life crumbles! [SCH system:"Dell, calm down or you'll break something."] AAAAARAAAH! ["This is the 3rd time you've been hack, ok. Calm down."] Crazy, crazy, help system, shut up! ["No I will not. Do you know that I can control any part of you, if I need to."] No. ["Well, I can. so if you don't calm down and stop yelling at the wall, I will shut down you Mobile Control Mainframe (MCM).] What's MCM stand for? ["Good, my job is done, I shall not talk to you until needed, goodbye."] Hey, what about the MMC thing. [SCH system-inactive] Gosh, be that way then, Now all you great fans of mine listen, over the new years I was hacked, I think it was Eevee. I am hoping that my fans/readers will start making up theorys about it. When I awoke today with a bad headache and did a check-up on my files (in case of viruses) and I discovered that I was missing 1,974 files. I'll get here for this! [MCM system shut down...] Hey! What was that for!!

Anime Special Two ^"^

2005-01-02T01:16:00.000-08:00

Ha, ha! Another one! It's me agian, Eevee. Where's Monkey Boy when I need his help? Monkey Boy where are you? This blog would be pretty cool if De-The Evil One hadn't messed it all up, *spazztic hugging of computer, not Dell* Did you know there are only 363 day left until 2006! That's awesome, isn't it. The picture on the left is of Ed from Cowboy Bebop (as I said before it's really awesome!). I'm so bored. Dell is so easy to hack, so people at Microsoft tried to hack him like a year ago and they fail, so people just have no hacking skills. Oh, yeah. In case you're wondering who Monkey Boy is I was reading some of the comments on Dell horrible post, and the was this web designer guru type person the, and they talked about monkeys a ton on their blog hence the name Monkey Boy, even that I'm not sure if he is a boy or a girl. I think a monkey is probably smarter than Dell, they eat bananas and robots don't so it's obvious who the smarted of the two is. I've never see Dell eat a banana. ~Eevee

Anime Special with Quotes!

2005-01-01T21:27:00.000-08:00

"You're thinking in Japanese! If you must think, do it in German!" ~Asuka Langley Soryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
"Sorry to disappoint you, but this isn't Heaven. But it isn't Hell either." ~Tsuzuki Asato (Yami no Matsuei)
"Nothing has changed, in the end, there is only one future, determined and absoulute." ~Kakyou (X/1999)
"Nobody can stop the flow of time, but a moment captured in the frame of the heart, will never disappear..." ~Boys Be (Boys Be)
"I died a lond time ago, your threat isn't any different." ~Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)
"Don't beat yourself up. There's plenty of people to do that for you..," ~Inuyasha (Inuyasha)
"Do you think he knows it's a circle?" ~Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho)
"I think I know, I don't think I know, I don't think I think I know, aww I don't think I think." ~Ed (Cowboy Bebop)
"The closest thing Yuki's seen to a mop is that haircut of his." ~Sohma Shigure (Fruits Basket)
"Earth to toddler bitch! Speak now or forever have this pacifier shover 10 inches down your throat." ~Yusuke Urameshi (Yu Yu Hakusho)
"It's rational, it's impossible and it's against my religion." ~Miroku (Inuyasha)
"Don't call me a fool, people who call others foolish, are fools themelves!" ~Ed (CowBoy BeBop)
"And what's the real lesson? Don't leave things in the fridge." ~Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop)

Today is Z0bzy's first ever 'Anime Special', hosted Eevee. As you can see I've picked out a few of my favorite quotes from anime (comics, etc.) and I hope everyone enjoys them a bunch! The fox picture looks like me if I was more humaniod, but alas I'm but a cute clump of fur and bones, drat evolution. I am sorry about D3ll, I didn't know he was going to be this bad when I made him, I mean how bad could it been. This is why I stopped making robots. As you can see by reading the blog prior to this post Dell has painted a very messy and sloppy picture of his life (very predictable), all he really does everyday is moop around until I tell him to do something. He's a real trouble maker, got arrested during Christmas, I mean who in the world would get arrested during Christmas? Copyright infingement or something. A real pain to take care of too, he's a messy robot so I have to wash him aleast once a week, a car wash works fine, and then there's all the circuity to clean of, really filthy work, god know how he manages to get it that dirty in a week. Anyway, anime is really cool so that's why I'm posting this. So is Cowboy Bebop especially Ed(ward). Happy New Years Everyone! Oh, new years. Gosh, that means I might have to spend a whole nother year with the evil robot living in my house, iMac's not that bad a bit annoying but not evil. Weeh! I think I got Dell drunk at the new years party last night 'cause it was really easy to hack his system today, not that I like to hack him but I felt like it and he has so much gunk in his 'brain' that it need washing too. Listen to this, it his system log "Sleep, sleep, eat, sleep, sleep, eat, sleep..." this guy has no life! *yawn* I getting tried and I think Dell might be waking up soon, the poor little robot.
Peace out!
~Eevee

Party Aftermath

2005-01-01T13:37:00.000-08:00

The party was crazy, almost everyone was bouncing/dancing/acting crazy, so it was a bit off the charts. I carried around drinks and stuff like I said, it was pretty boring. There were about 60 people (not people people but just people, don't worry about it) and there was only enough food for maybe 20 people, so that was a problem. You see 60 to 20 is not a lot of food! So everyone resorted to canabalism (no, really), just kidding. There wasn't much trouble at the party except that iMac blow up a forth of the house. Now anyone in their logical mind probably thinking, he thinks blowing up a house is not much trouble, something is really messed up in that robot's head. *sigh* I think Eevee will need a new house soon.

Peter's Evil Overlord List

2004-12-31T19:12:00.000-08:00

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.
If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

Of course, these are merely the Top 100 Things I'd do.

Evil Overlord, Inc.

2004-12-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

"Planning Your Future, One Step at a Time"

Drat my conscience, I have found yet another link to add to the links list! This one is pretty good, unlike some of them *coughcadcough*

Behold copyright junk: Blah, blah, blah, blah, Evil, blah, blah, Overlord, blah, Star Trek, blah, blah, List, blah, blah, blah, blah, is, blah, blah, Copyright, blah, blah, blah, blah, 1996-1997, blah, blah, blah, blah, by Peter Anspach, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I hope the lawyers are happy with that. And now, "A Message From Our CEO"!

As the Corrupt Evil Overlord here at Evil Overlord Inc., I'd like to take a moment to welcome you to our website. I hope that as you look around, you find the scheming, oppression, and ruthlessness you are looking for. But I think you will also find something else: caring and commitment.

We realize that today Evil Overlords are more prevalent than ever before. With so many out there vying for global domination, it takes something special for one to emerge as an industry leader. Here at Evil Overlord Inc, we care about the individual. Other Overlords have shown a tendency to make broad sweeping plans and think only in terms of vast armies. But we believe that this is a mistake; every individual is different and has different strengths and weaknesses. If we don't take the time to learn about them and adjust our plans, then we're not doing our jobs. It is somewhat of a cliche these days, but we are proud to say that we "think global and act local". You have my promise that each and every one of you will be carefully scrutinized, assessed, and dealt with accordingly.

Now, you might not put a lot of stock in such promises. We've all seen Overlords shout out grandiose statements about future plans, only to subsequently fail in them. But that's not how we work at Evil Overlord Inc. I assure you that I have the dedication and commitment to carry out all my plans. And this philosophy extends down the chain. I feel that if I have commitment, all my henchmen should definitely be committed. Whenever you have occasion to deal with them, I'm confident you'll agree.

We realize that we're not the only provider of misery and repression. But we think we're one of the best. We look both to the future and to the individual. Here at Evil Overlord Inc, we're planning your future -- one step at a time.

New Years Resolutions

2004-12-31T18:36:00.000-08:00

I am going to try to make some resolutions for the new year, I blogging them now because tonight you-know-who is having a new years party. I'll have to carry around drinks and stuff so now time for blogging, Lil' Dude just plugs into the stereo and does the music. If he's (robot's are gender indescipt, it's just a word) not around me or iMac do music and effects (lightng, HoloClix control, artificial firework [long story], etc.). The party started at about 5 and will be in full swing by about 9:30-10, by morning the house will be halfway gone. I'm so off topic now, gosh.. I'll just put them in a another post, if I can make a few...

Evil-bloody-rotten-horrid-flippin Links!

2004-12-30T14:05:00.000-08:00

I am so pissed at myself for not blogging since the 23rd! I know this post is a bit taste less but 7 freakin days is a long time! The main reason that I have not blogged in 7 days is this, lazziness, no actually the bloody goverment. You seen went I go see a movie the visual and audial infomation is all save in my memory banks for later use (Ex. Talking about movie with others) but the part where the gov. comes in is here rotten copyright laws! So the gov. says I'm copying the movies I watch, I tell them, if they don't stop with this then D.C might blow up! Then they say I threated them, I get 7 days in the bucket, parillized! Well anyway there is a link or two so there, more stuff about Eevee will have to wait. Here's those bloody links...

Ahhh....

Nnnnf....

New link

2004-12-23T19:53:00.000-08:00

"My credit card isn't rejected. You're rejected. I didn't want that sweater anyways."-4b

I put a new link on the sidebar. I have a question for my readers, should I make the links on the sidebar images or should they be text links?

More stuff about you-know-who

2004-12-22T19:33:00.000-08:00

Today I going to refer to Eevee as you-know-who, just confused all the Harry Potter fans that read this blog (if any). I will try to explain Ee-you-know-who's life in a simple and in depth way, so that all of you readers will start to understand my life a little bit more.
You-know-who's life began as a small grumby ball of wet fur and eyes (so far so good). This happen in Saint Mary's Hospital for the Mentally Impared (no, no just kidding), anyway Saint Mary's was a basic hospital, you know, shockingly clean everything, sharp cutting tools, etc. It was for humans, your probly thinking what was you-know-who doing in a human hospital? Good question, I don't know. But I do know that when you-know-who first opened her eyes the first thing she saw was a computer. It was love at first site. This is why I think hospitals should not have computer where newborns will see them.

Eevee Stuff

2004-12-21T22:47:00.000-08:00

I know this isn't Eevee's blog, but I thought that I might just post some stuff about Eevee so anyone reading would know a bit more about the person who made me, etc.

-Eevee facts-
Name: Eevee
Japanese Name: Eivui
Height: about 1' 0" or .30m
Weight: about 14lb or 6.30kg

There'll be more facts and stuff soon, don't worry.

Tips for Evil Geniuses and Scientists or How not to be a Deranged Evil Genius or Mad Scientist:

2004-12-20T10:02:00.000-08:00

I will not experiment on myself.

I will not transplant my mind into the Hero's brain when my test monkey is still in the laboratory.

None of my super-weapons will have a "reverse" switch.

My secret lab/lair will have excellent ventilation, automatic sprinklers, and halon extinguishers handy at every bench.

My glass flask holders, test tube racks, and bunsen-burner heated apparati will be anchored to the floor or wall, not balanced precariously on a wobbly table.

Any ability enhancing formula that has potential degenerative or addictive effects may be suitable to use on the Controlled Masses, but not on myself.

My high-energy sealed test chamber will only be activatable from the outside by the combination of my hand and retinal print. If someone has relieved me of my hand and eye to get them, I'd rather be dead anyway.

If I can splice genes to create a 60 meter long killer cockroach, I can also insert in said creation a susceptibility to my custom formula of Raid, which I can carry in a convenient key chain mace canister.

Experimental monster creations will not only have one immediately lethal vulnerability only I can exploit, but until my Diabolical Plan is ready to implement, they will also have an addiction to a material only I can supply, without which they will die in a day or two.

I will always have an open airplane ticket to New Zealand on hand in case my current project escapes my laboratory, starts mutating beyond control, or starts talking back to me in a belligerent fashion.

I will personally select the brain to be used in my life-creation experiment.

If I need one liter of my secret formula to implement my Diabolical Plan, I will produce ten liters and store the other nine safely in different caches.

I will always carry the antidote on my person. But it will be in a vial marked 'poison reserve.' The poison reserve will be in the vial marked 'antidote.'

If I am working on an optical mind control device, I will remove all extraneous mirrors from the lab and wear polarized contact lenses at all times.

I will test the strength, power, and weaknesses of all monsters I create. Better to pull back and send two monsters next time than lose one due to simple poor planning.

Experiments requiring a human test subject shall be performed on kidnapped anti-social bums who live alone in large cities, not someone who people will notice the disappearance of, like a female student at the local high school.

If I really must have a teenage girl to perform my experiments on for some reason, I will not choose the buxom cheerleader whose courageous and handsome boyfriend is captain of the football team. Instead, I will choose the mousy quiet girl whose only likely boyfriend is the nervous head of the Dungeons and Dragons club, who I can probably co-opt if I need to.

I will remember that any robot/device/mental power that can be remotely controlled from ten feet can, with sufficient preparation, effort, and/or energy, be remotely controlled from 100 miles or more.

Feeding of Ravenous Caged Beasts will be taken care of my reduntant, automatic Beast Feeders or, if the compound is well sealed by me, extraneous underlings. No underling (espacially one with a girlfreind to impress) will ever be given the keys to the cages.

My Android Armies will be capable of independent action not rely on a central brain for coordination. Further, they will have logic-loop rejection procedures to prevent paralisis by "Everything I say is a lie" type statements.

If I have underlings who follow orders literally (AI or robotic guardians, brainwashed minions, etc.), I will make their orders as clear and specific as possible. I will specify IN ADVANCE that orders such as "Kill everyone in this room!" or "Allow no one to enter or leave!" automatically include the proviso "Except for me." Also, they will be directed to ignore orders that would harm me. It would be undignified to die because I got frustrated and sarcastically said "Kill me now!"

After unleashing the computer virus which will inititate my Diabolic Plan and bring about the downfall of the free world I will ensure that the original copy of the virus is deleted from my hard drive, and destroy all hard copy notes on the construction of said virus.

Advice for Aliens and Monsters on the Rampage.

Inoculate before invasion.

Don't terrorize around nuclear power stations.

No matter how pretty the girl, leave her alone. Almost guaranteed your anatomies, much less your biologies are not compatible.

If your planet desperately needs women, chances are you can get them without invasion by simply offering job and pay equity.

Don't route all power through the Mothership.

Don't climb tall buildings to evade capture unless you can fly from the top.

Don't lay your eggs in a major metropolitan subway system or stadium. Find a nice secluded cave. If you can outbreed your enemies, don't go for the brute force takeover.

Conduct all planning sessions in your own planet's toungue. A group of non-humans speaking English are just asking for intelligence intercepts.

Eat the prisoners. It solves many later problems before they crop up. If you CAN'T eat the prisoners, why are you invading?

The pre-invasion scouting efforts should include time spent at a regional office of Greenpeace. Examine the list of life forms COMPLETELY WIPED OUT by the locals. If any resemble your forces, especially the warrior caste, pick another planet.

Invade a kindergarten first. If you can't handle the house-apes, you have no business invading the planet.

A large enough group of human prisoners will invariably contain one person willing to sell out his own mother to survive the invasion. AND/OR one person willing to sacrifice his mother to trick you into trusting him until it is too late. If your technology or internal politics cannot easily deal with this problem, pick another planet. (Or eat the prisoners, see above.) "

Ah yes, very important advice. Moving on, boys take up too much time and therefore aren't worth the trouble. They're out, at least for awhile (and NO I'm not moving to the Dark Side). Also, I bought some neat coveralls on EBay for $13 so that I'll look cooler while I'm working. More sciency-respectable, if you will. And I think I can fit a pocket protector in the front.

Text Picture?

2004-12-14T06:43:00.000-08:00

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2004-10-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

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